nice goodbye

I’m trying real hard to forget you but damn....all that I got just a dizzy head all the time. I cant even barely think about the lessons at my school. Ain’t that so sad? Yes it’s extremely sad. I dont know where you are, I feel like you always here besides me even when you’re gone, shadows of you all around me, you’re really really gone from my sight. You don’t even showed up when your friends visit their old school. It’s like I’m being too forgotten since you got a new one, oh trying to replace me dont you? I know I know I am useless, a relationship without a conversation just like a car without a fuel. It won’t start, it wont even go, we can’t gas it cause there’s no fuel. Like if we don’t talk to each other, we can never move on. I’m buttered everytime, dude. I’m so sick of being buttered. But I just cant take my eyes off of you, yes the hardest thing in this 14 years I’ve had is this, forget the unforgettables, and one of them is you.

Are you in love with another? Does they feel the same to you? Well I guess that’s a tough compete, I cannot beat them all, im just a kid who still doesnt know certain places cool people go to hang out. But I still do, I still in love with you, till death seperate us, and now seasons are changing..summer to rainy season. I’m still in love with you. I know in the end of the day, I will always feel lonely, yes time surely fly fast.

“You’re such a loser man,

Sucker at love” I said to myslef.

Okay here I am, and fuck you if you can’t understand me. I’m uncool I admit it but, I start this feeling, I start this untalkative relationship nicely, didn’t I? Yes I surely did. Remember when we were in the exact same class during your 8th grade exam? Whoops you dont even recognize, do you. Hell yeah I was wrong. For now I’m sorry if my acts means hurting one’s heart. I know someday you will meet the right perfect brilliant person. Hmm, I wish I could be that person....(haha you wish). Thanks for your kind of attention. I really appreciate it.

don bosco

at last ngepost jg haha udh berpuluh2 minggu nih -,..,- lo hrs tau yak stlh don bosco tanding gt di pj cup entah bagaimana kapan mengapa kenapa gue jd ngefans sm db! emg sih screw myself bgt tp setiap gue dgr kata 'don bosco' waw senengnya ky makan lasagna hehe. minggu2 ini gue selalu ngmgin db....its supremely weird man..hmm

kan gue publikasi tuh tugasnya ngebagi2in pamflet ke seluruh sekolah yg udh direncanain mau dikasih, dan gue kebagian di jakarta...krn pl, db, bm itu paling deket kalo keluar tol pondok indah makanya duluan.nih pj aja keluar sekolah jam 3an ank db jam brp cb?? 2 mungkin haha ya manamungkin keburu paling jg ketemu guru bukan muridnya. oh for god's sake mana jakarta macet lg trs ujan ahahaha sila bgt...smp di db sepi gt pas gue tanya satpam "ohh udh ps pulang semua dek, guru2nya juga udh drtd" anjriiitttt malu malu malu nyesek nyesek nyesek sedih sedih sedih kecewa haduh...selalukan ada halangan kalo ttg db.

pertama : kalah di pj cup pas pertandingan kedua lawan dd pdhl cm beda 1 poin *nyesek bgt*
kedua : pas mau ntn pj lawan db di pl cup gue bw mobil DEMI ngeliat db bukan nganter ank2 basket, tp pas lg markir nyerempet, dimarah2in supir satpam om2 tante2, trs 150rb duit tabungan gue selama ini (pdhl lg nabung mau beli hadiah natal) melayang buat byr ganti ruginya, trs gue gasempet liat pertandingannya..ya dikitsihh tp yaa tetep aja kan nontonnya ga puas gt perasaan gelisah gaenak yaampunn :( trs ujan, bensin abs, dan satu lg pulang drst gue sakit smp skrg gue ngepost ini...influenza hwhwh dan demam tinggi omg >:D *pasrah speechless*
ketiga : pas mau ke db ngasih2 pamflet..macet dijalan, ujan nyampe sana kosong gaada org *sedih tidak disangka*

kenapa gue dilahirin?

*that was so dumb hahaha dumbest question ever oh cheesus fries (jesus christ)*

tapi guesih gpp kalo ngabisin bensin demi db, duit gue 500rebu jg melayang gpp demi db, mobil gue lecet2 penyok2 buluk gt demi db, gue jd sinus pun gpp demi db, niat guesih baik hehe kalo emg resultnya selalu negative yaa itu emg takdir kan mau diapain lg wkwk gaboleh nantang takdir tuhan juga jd yaa tawakal :) hohoho mungkin insyaallah dibales gt wkwkwk amin deh amin.

kan kubela don bosco sampai nafas terakhirku :)

tech deck

DATENG JUGA AKHIRNYA HEHEHEHEH U MAKE ME HAPPY TECH DECK

kgn bgt

td pembukaan pj cup kereen hahaha bagus2 well done pj!

trus gue ketemu sm dia ahhaah kangen uoi.trus gue sempet mengenang2 dulu gt wkwk sempet senyum2 sendiri.wkt gue di mph gue liat mobil dia gt lewat parkiran, langsung gue lompat2 alhamdulliah gt langsung meluk semua org yg di hadapan gua,yaiyaLAH seneng sumpah demi apapun.gue langsung lariiiiii menuju ke kantin ngeliat dia ada ato ga.....wuhu ternyata ada gua langsung rada bahagia gitu yg bener2 super tenang hoho apadah-_-trus dia kan dr sekolah gt wahahha msh pake seragam oh no, lucu ya dude.

kan kangen kan tuh, yaudah gue duduk di kantin gue liatin aja dia from quiet far distance biar ga ketawan hehe. pas lagi asyik2nya (ew jiji bgt pake 'y' haha) ngeliatin dia EH diaaa ngeliaaaat baaaliiikk wahahaha itu bener2 delightful.dia lucu gt sambil ngeliatin basket trus ngeliat kearah gue..tp yaaaa kynya gua pede deh ahahah mungkin aja kan yak dia ga ngeliatin gua jg gt bs aja sekeliling ahh bangke ah! tp knp gue ngerasa dia ngeliat GUE ohhh.

dulu kan dia setiap hari pake jam kecil gt warna putih apa kalo gasalah trus sepatu converse trus kalo jalan.....wakakak one of a kind ya dia wawawaw.trus pake tas abu kadang ijo tua gt hahah trus aduh masa reminisce mulu sih how boo! pdhl ya dulu gue setiap hr liat2an dan itu incredible bgt yaalllaaahh. tp skrg sekali ketemu sujus syukur gue sampe jingkrak2 gt (ikut cheers aja tin) haha douche-____- tp emg #fact kok.ga boong deh demi. trus sekalipun ketemu teteeep ajaa kangen gt. ga selese2 kangen nya ohmen. skrg aja gua mo liat dia lagi.

kalo gue tanding gue pengen bgt sumpah! dia nontonin gua gt wuhuhu adanya gua malah tebar pesona trus malah jd malu gt jd ga main deh wkwk galah gue malah tambah semangat lah, gila aje buset. lu nyorakin gua gt waaaa hati gue serasa kena panah lu yg ke-181294 kali wuh banyak ya panah lu yg udh lu luncurin ke gua dan bullseye! tepat selalu di tengah hati gue haha liver men.

oke let me make this staraight and quick, gua cuma human biasa gua jg ga pinter im nothing tauga, tp gue suka sm org yg pinter dan unothing (msdnya dia segalanya) jd beda drastis gue parah dia maximum awesome kali ya hahahah.okeee gue ngantuk haha tidur duluwh iupz.

*kynya selama ini guakepedean deh haha gede rasa gt oww nouu*

its time to say goodbye

goodbye






take care disana haha mgkn lu gatau smg allah bisikin ke lu the word 'i love you' from me :'), anyway minal aidin walfaidzin ya, pasti lah gue punya salah gamungkin engga hahaha dan kalo boleh jujur disini, i miss kls 8, dulu kan every monday gue selalu liat2an sm lu pas upacara thats why i love monday, but now oh gue buttered selain itu gaada pemandangan yg bs diliat.....sebenernya wkt kls 8 gue pernah nih mikirin kalo kls 9 gaada dia gimana ya, dan ginideh jadinya hahah jd ‘mo’ gt gue hmmm.

gue jg gamau ky gini (selamanya, sebenernya) (mudah2an gadeh) tp cara buat dia jg suka sm gua susah lah, dan gakanpernahbisaseumurhidup. aaa huhu

pas ketemu tuh terakhir kalinya di sekokah,di kantin.....ohgawdy itu bener2 gue speechless yg bener2 (demi allah) berenti jalan berenti berdetak.....seriusan coy sauce!

trus gua nervous pas ada dia...bener2 nervous ga disengajain,dr jauh gue liat lu gt uhuhuhu......ah gamo ngobrolin ah

(nahan perih)

aw aw aw

oke tin just talk with ur hips

lu ati2 ya disana, semoga lu dpt yg JAAUUUUHHH lbh goodlooking dr gue (berasa goodlooking abis sih lu ckck) yagapapa drpd berasa un-goodlooking hahaha bego ah scum!

maaf ya maaf kalo ada salah,ikhlasin aja deh yak >:D


lagian gamungkin kali dia baca ini...haduh gue buttered bgt ini hahhhhhh~

"yaAllah semoga dia diberi keselamatan kesehatan yg lebih yaallah, diberi rejeki melimpah, diberikan kesenangan maupun dunia nyata ataupun dunia tidak nyata dan dunia akhirat yaallah,semoga dia dpt org yg jauh lbh goodlooking dr aku,semoga keluarganyapun diberi keselamatan, ayahnya ibunya kakeknya neneknya adeknya kakaknya dan sodara2nya, semoga dia diberi pencerahan saat dia lagi mengalamain kesusahan, diberi jalan keluar yang lebih mudah disaat semua jalan keluar tertutup rapat dan sangat sulit bagi dia untuk keluar, semoga dia diberi kesabaran yg melimpah yaallah, semoga dia diberikan kehidupan yg jauh jauh jauh lebih baik dari taun lalu yaallah, semoga dia bisa meraih cita2nya dengan sukses yaallah, semoga dia juga bisa dengan bangga mendapatkan apa yg dia mau yaallah dengan hasil kerjanya selama ini.......amin amin amin ya robal alamin”

semoga doanya ga sia2 ya hahahaha

semoga itu ada manfaatnya ada gunanya ada hikmahnya hehehehe

semoga itu ga disalahgunain hohohoho

semoga doanya bisa buat gue ngelupain lu huhuhuhu

(pas tk gua kan paling ditakutin satu sekolah ahhaha jago smack down gt hih sangar, gua aja takut sm gua yg kecil dulu, tp skrg walah gua letoy bgt, cengeng gt ckck gpplah maqlum)

once again goodbye and goodbye and so long! perhaps we’ll meet again in the next life, the brand new life, afterlife or maybe reincarnation oh idontknow.....iloveu i’ll always still do.

letter of apology

dear my dearest,

maybe im the stupid one, ignoring u for a long time, in that day i was fine i was happy i was great i was full-of-jokes but now i regret it... all those days, all those hours, all those minutes, all those seconds was everyting. now....right now im nothing but a pice of cake, im a stupid piece of junk, yes i am. im nothing but a brainless retard, maybe im more than that.and i feel sorry to myself. everyone keep saying that im a shrimpbrain, pothead, pranker, foolish, retard, and many many more.

this breakdown is eating me alive man.i need help, but no one's gonna help me! why? hey i dont have any friends. im uncool okay.im always at home u know.im a dork loser, fat bastard, psychopathic jackass, nerd scum, twinkle douchebag, shitload, sarcastic jerk.aww man am i really that bad? am i really that pathetic? i just cany believe it. im 14 years old and still playin around with someone's heart. who do u think u r tin! u cant just do that, u cant just let that happen to them.

i know, i got F in math always. i hate school, but i love school. (kinda shame) i met u there. first time i fell in love with 'the most wonderful brilliant amazing creature' there. that day, the first time i met, it felt so terrific, i never had felt so alive. even when i have better things to think about, i just keep thinking about u.

ur hazel eyes paralyze my senses. im down with that, i cant stand if u keep staring at me. ure so hot, and its time for me to melt (lyk an ice cube in the summer)

its in the past tin, forget about it

i know its in the past, but why dont we try to fix it huh?

FIX IT? tin r u outta ur (damn) mind? hell no

why not? cmon

tin! ure such a geek, focus on ur future not ur PAST! godammit

i simply cant man, difficult for me to forget past times

geez, u can find new one out there if u want..it cud be fun rite?haha

fun? do u think i can forget sum1 who i love that easy?

hey im just saying, calm down k, relax dude

ahh screw u!

what the heck r u?

me? im a human, u fistful of asshole

okay, im sorry man, didnt mean to do that

......

listen, lets spend our times goofin off? cmon at my crib

huh? okay





(i feel stupid)

it was so dumb, talking to myself is such a creep. i never do this in my entire life. its just because of YOU. awww huhuhu

i dont think that i have the strength to let u go

but this whole time i was wrong, ure not the right fit for me

it seems like if i love you, i shud let u move on

and recently, i feel unhappy and idontknowwhatsupwiththat

one thing think u shud know.....i (still) love u (yaoloh ini norak tp #fact)

i guess this is the end of it, i shud forget u, but its not the end of the world

if i were a mad scientist, i'd like to invent a time machine just for seeing u, really.so i cud roll back the time hahaha.

i'm sorry if my acts means hurting one's heart.
i'm sorry that i, sometimes made wrong decision.
i'm sorry that i, ...dont know what else to say in this letter of apology
i just want you to know that

that

that

"i miss you"

well i guess its not enuff to say im sorry, so i just quit saying sorry

oh i hate myself, im useless worthless brainless eyeless careless, dsb (wkwk dsb)

we better off this way

there were so many choices, but i made my decision

no more loking tin! this shud be it, yes this shud be the end of it

u know i chose u over the others, u just won this heart this mind

i guess it wasnt the wisest decision, but i surely had a good time, and i bet you had one too with me

i wont blame u for anything

i left a note written on paper and marker, not pencil, that says,

"i will be back when the time is right, i will fix you, i will build you, i will take care of you, i will make you stronger, and i will make sure you'll never be lost again, ever"

bye 'you'

take notes that even i wont say again the words "i love you" ever again, i will always still do okay

(god arent u just the sweetest thing in my entire life)

have a good one,
buddy

p.s. bye forever because all i had to say is goodbye